Shorter Catechism Q. 63. Which is the fifth commandment? A. The fifth commandment is, Honor thy father and thy mother; that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Q. 64. What is required in the fifth commandment? A. The fifth commandment requireth the preserving the honor, and performing the duties, belonging to every one in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors or equals.
Commentary: WSC 41 noted that the Ten Commandments are a summary of the moral law. This means that there is a broader application to the commandments than is stated in the commandment itself. Consequently, the fifth commandment doesn’t merely apply to parents and children, but to other types of relationships including the state and its citizens, teachers and their students, employers and employees and colleagues.
WLC 124 argues that the terms “father and “mother” refer to “not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts; and especially such as, by God’s ordinance, are over us in place of authority, whether in family, church, or commonwealth.” There is good warrant for this because Scripture uses “father” and “mother” for a host of relationships outside of the natural family. Hence, WSC 64 is correct that the fifth commandment requires “performing the duties, belonging to every one in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors or equals.”
Apart from our relationship with God, the first and most important relationship is the one we have with our parents. It shapes all our other relationships. How we treat our parents will carry over to how we treat other people, especially people who have some sort of authority over us, like teachers, policemen and employers. Augustine captured this truth when he wrote, “If anyone fails to honor his parents, is there anyone he will spare?” It makes good sense, therefore, that the fifth commandment is expressed in familial terms and that it is the first commandment pertaining to how we love our neighbor.
The fifth commandment requires that we honor both parents, the father and the mother. The word “honor” means to prize highly, to show respect, to exalt. How honor is shown will depend upon the age of the children. All children, regardless of age, will honor their parents by treating them with respect, kindness and love. Younger children, however, will further honor their parents by obeying them. James Stalker, a Scottish minister at the turn of the 20th century, wrote, “Sacred as is the parent’s right to the obedience of the child, there is a term to it. It is the office of the parent to train the child to independence. As the schoolmaster’s aim ought to be to train his pupils to a stage where they are able to face the work of life without any more help from him, so parents have to recognize that there is a point at which their commands must cease and their children be allowed to choose and act for themselves. Love will not cease; respect ought not to cease; but authority has to cease.”